Third time's a charm

I hope that's true, because today after class, my overly tidy professor (see below) handed back the replacement papers we had emailed him, and he COULDN'T FIND MINE. He swore he had read it. I asked if he could at least give me verbal feedback. He replied that he might have given my paper to one of the other students. I said he might print off another copy, since he has it in his email, and give it to me with his comments at the departmental dinner tonight. He said he was at least sure he gave me an A, even if he couldn't remember what comments he wrote below it.
I wonder if I can do this with all the other papers for that class?

More bad news...

No, no, not economic news. It's just been a rough week for those allegedly brilliant academics who run things around here. Below, and excerpt from an email sent to me by a professor (who will remain nameless) about a paper I handed in five weeks ago.

I had guests over Saturday evening, and I did hours of cleaning before they came. Unwittingly, I may have thrown some of your papers away.

Unfortunately, this is NOT a joke. He seriously THREW AWAY our papers. Now, maybe it's just me, but I really have MUCH higher expectations for an institution that demands so much of my time and energy that could be going to other things. If I threw away my students' work, I would be reprimanded, disciplined, and probably never allowed to teach again. I have essays, quizzes, and homework from 24 students to keep track of, and this guy, with his humongous brain, can't keep track of 6? Argh.

A Bad Sign

There's lots going on, but no time to write it up at the moment. To tide you over until I can do a real post, here's an excerpt from the University Budget Update by our esteemed President Robert H. Bruininks:

While it is clear that we will need to reduce the size of our workforce over the next two years, it is our goal to limit layoffs by continuing to take advantage of attrition, by reexamining the ways we work and being planful about filling vacant positions, by exploring other options including voluntary reduced-time appointments, and by improving service and efficiency. [....] I remain committed to working closely with the University community on these important issues.

Planful? We need to be PLANFUL? Sir, you run a massive top-tier university. Surely you are aware that planful is NOT A WORD. And you know you're not fooling anyone by couching ugly facts in fancy euphemisms like "taking advantage of attrition" and "voluntary reduced-time appointments." Perhaps you should work closely with the University community to create statements that don't sound so stupid. Or stupidly bureaucratic.

Destruction, cont'd

Good News: The weather has improved! Spring has finally arrived! As the weather improves around here, so do our demolition projects. This picture of our front planter may not be encouraging to any of you, but if you look closely, you can see some real, live green things starting to grow in there!
Bad News: This planter is pulling on parts of the house which should not be pulled, so it has to come out. Good News: We took advantage of the warmth by starting to destroy the upstairs kitchen, which was last updated back when our house was used as a duplex, which was sometime before 1955. Here, you can see the smurf-colored trim (also the color of the cabinets), but we had already torn out a lot of the mustard yellow counter top by the time we got the camera out.
Bad News: It can always get uglier. You can also see the wallpaper we found behind the upper cabinets, which sets a new standard for hideous - quite an accomplishment, considering some of the other wallpaper we've found here.
Good News: I got to spend some quality time with the sledgehammer (We should name it. Suggestions?). In a tank top, no less!
Bad News: We also got to spend some quality time resetting the outlets. We know they're supposed to be attached to studs or something, but these were held in place mostly by the plates and wires and sparked when we moved them.
Good News: We are quick learners! Now we know a) how to shut off power to that room, and b) how to replace an outlet!
Bad News: While we were out getting outlet pieces, Cricket put a paw right through our front window, cut part of her toe right off, and then ran around the house, bleeding everywhere.
Good News: We weren't gone long; Cricket will be fine; our front window is divided into four panes, and she only broke one; it is no longer snowing and/or -20; replacing window panes is a useful skill which I now have.
Bad News: This was a very expensive accident. Doggy emergency room + plexiglass (we decided not to replace it with glass, just in case it happens again) + gas wasted driving all over creation trying to find someone to cut a new piece of plexiglass for us after we ruined the first one, foolishly believing people who say you "just have to score it to cut it down to size" + new furniture to put in front of the window + large plants to set on new furniture so Cricket can't get up on that + beer = eight gajillion dollars.
Good News: Watching Cricket walk around with that huge bandage on her foot + seeing her stay the hell away from the window = priceless. She is very contrite.
Bad News: Because she can walk, she needs to go on walks, which requires triple-bagging her foot and listening to random strangers say "Oh, poor puppy!" Which is better than those who ask me "Did she hurt her foot?" No, of course not! She likes all those bags tied to her foot.
Good News: The plants and new furniture and new window look nice, especially against the windows that I OPENED BECAUSE IT IS SO WARM. Cricket, try to remember this: if you absolutely have to go and do something so stupid, try to do it when the weather is nice so it puts me in a good mood.

Demolition Derby

Over the weekend, Rob and I continued the project we accidentally started not too long ago when we tore up the hideous carpet on the stairs. Now, in that post I might have mentioned a few things we found that made us believe the people who installed that carpeting and paneling were a little...off. But nothing could have prepared us for the batshitcrazy that we found under the rest of the paneling when we took it down.

Behold the madness:

Yes, that is a railingish thing constructed from the old stringers which probably supported the original stairs. And yes, of course they seem to have much better construction than the current shoddily built stringers, which we will be replacing someday, when we're done taking the house apart.

See that blue? That is a HOLE in the wall between the stairs and the closet off of the den. When we took the paneling off of this section, that hole was stuffed with sixty-year-old underwear, but I was too grossed out to take a picture of it for you.

Here, you can see some different pieces of wood nailed at random to the wall for no apparent reason, as well as a part of the lovely antique beadboard that they managed to not destroy. Here, you can see where they built an entire closet out of that awful paneling. Around a window. So the sun can cheer up your sweaters when they start to get depressed about the long, dark winters. The door to this oddly-shaped and mostly useless closet was also nothing but paneling. Without a door, what use is a closet? Also, it's March, there was finally some sun, and we were on a roll letting some light into the hallway, so we took the closet out too. And the ceiling tiles after that. Luckily, we both had to work the next day, or our house would probably be in pieces.

Top 5 Words That Are Ruining Higher Education

1. Potentiality
2. Interdisciplinarity
3. Intertextuality
4. Commonality
5. Historiography
   

Good News, Bad News: Asbestos Facial

Good News: MPR says that "meteorological winter is over."
Bad News: The weather doesn't care what they say, there is still a foot of snow on the ground and <0 wind chills.
Good News: Since it's been too cold to go out, Rob and I stayed in and spontaneously ripped up carpet and took paneling down! Now our stairwell looks naked, but in a good way.
Bad News: When the carpet in this house comes up, you are always sprayed in the face by a shower of grainy, yellowish grime from the carpet backing. Judging by the age of the carpet (300 years) and my luck (horrible), it's probably asbestos.
Good News: It has about the same exfoliating properties as my apricot facial scrub.
Bad News: Without the carpet, we can see that these stairs were built to go under carpet and next to the paneling. And behind the paneling, we can see the grody lathe-and-plaster walls that are a) probably also asbestosy, and b) need some TLC. Apparently the previous ownerwas really lazy and/or batshitcrazy and/or thought times would never change, cheap wood paneling would always be pretty, and carpet would never get disgusting, so poor craftsmanship was ok.
Good News: The hallway leading off the stairs is miraculously the same beautiful old wood as the bedroom and office.
Bad News: It probably also used to have beautiful old baseboards, but they got ripped out at some point and now there are 1/2" gaps between the floor and the wall.
Good News: I learned how to install baseboards and build stairs on thisoldhouse.com, so as soon as we get a new table/miter saw (hint: wedding present) we can tackle those. In the meantime, the stairwell is much louder than it was, but also less like a cheap, dark, ugly deathtrap.