Spring

Good news: Spring is here!
Bad news: Returning to my warm-weather clothes after six months makes me realize that I hate them all.
Good news: It's nice enough to work out in the garden again!
Bad news: It's nice enough that I'm not getting anything done at my desk, where the deadlines are arguably more pressing than in the yard.

The New Plan

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Really, I wasn't kidding.

Just got an email about the "sobering fiscal realities" the U is facing:

"As expected, the governor's February 15th budget recommendation included an additional cut of $36 million to the University of Minnesota's budget. This comes on the heels of an $80 million cut last year and erases 10 years of incremental state funding increases, reducing our state funding base to the lowest level since 2001 ($591 million). The new proposed state cut and our ongoing financial obligations create a total budget shortfall of $132.2 million for 2010-11."

The solution? Pay cuts for everyone, and mandatory furlough for certain employee classes. This renovation had better be amazing.

Bah

Humbug! I just found out that the state and the (allegedly anti-waste) governor have signed off on the remodel. Granted, I'm grumpy that I'll have to clean out my office and move into some godforsaken basement halfway across campus from the mail room, but the thing that really gets me is that we can get 23 MILLION DOLLARS to spruce up the building at the same time that we are firing opting not to renew the contracts of certain talented and experienced instructors, cutting the number of classes offered in our department, toying with the idea of increasing class sizes (the current limit is 25, which is already too big for a 50 minute language class), and reducing available summer grants and research budgets for grad students, all because we don't have enough money. 23 million for a bathroom on every floor and fancy white boards in every classroom, and I'll bet you my left arm that this money would have done a whole lot more good in the world if, I don't know, it had been given to one of the state-run public health or elementary education programs that were cut recently. 23 million for central air conditioning, and the cost of a single ride bus ticket is up to $3 during rush hour. Also irritating is the cheery tone in the email announcing the good news:

This is the culmination of more than a decade of effort by
faculty, staff, and students in collaboration with the college to bring
the importance of language and culture and the needs of the building to the
attention of the University and the state government.

Right. They're definitely renovating our building because now they recognize the importance of language and culture. Yep, that's it. /end rant

In other, less terrible news: the bathroom project is nearing completion. Pictures coming soon. Also, the sun is out, the windows are open, and those sirens up at the school were just a training exercise.

Professional hazard

That post on procrastination that I promised you? This is it. Right now, I'm putting off grading 23 quizzes, writing two grant proposals, and reading for class. I expect the reading to be lovely, since it's Real Literature and not theory, but I'm saving it for last as a motivator to get the other stuff done. It's not working that well....

You know as well as I do that there are always lots of good reasons to procrastinate. You're using my blog to procrastinate right now, aren't you? And I'm sure you have good reasons for that. When I started graduate school, I foolishly believed that I would be better at getting things done, organizing my time, etc. because it seemed like there was no way to do everything that was being asked of me otherwise. Little did I know that assignments in grad school are a lot like playing chicken. It's taken me three years, but I am now approaching the steely resolve of Kevin Bacon in Footloose. I'm not going to be the one to steer my tractor off the road. In case you have no idea what I mean:



The biggest reason for this is that the culture of the academy does not in any way, shape, or form cultivate advanced planning. In fact, I would argue that it actively discourages such silliness. A real-life example: I wanted to plan what courses I would take over the four semesters I spent getting my M.A. so I could file some paper work with the graduate school as instructed in the graduate student handbook, but curriculum was changed and course offerings for the next semester weren't decided on until the week before registration opened. I once took the initiative and read ahead in a class, only to have the professor change the syllabus by eliminating half of the reading I'd already done.

This is even worse when it comes to funding decisions - competitions for grants and fellowships are announced anywhere from one to three weeks before the deadline, but decisions take much longer. This is annoying when you're waiting to find out whether you'll have $2,000 or $5,000 to get you through the summer. It is excruciating when you're waiting to find out whether you need to book a ticket to Europe for a research institute or if you can agree to attend a wedding or if you can reasonably plan an anniversary vacation.

The stress and anxiety of the summer funding cycle have given me a lot of trouble these past few years, so I'm really enjoying the poetic justice of the situation in my department right now. See, our building is slated for interior renovation, which it sort of does need (though not nearly as desperately as some administrators would have you believe). This renovation depends on funding the university may or may not receive from the governor, funding we will find out about sooner or later. Meanwhile, though, they've scheduled the move out of our offices and into "swing spaces" (or dungeons) for the last week of spring semester, and today they sent an email reminding us that:

We still don't know one way or the other about whether the renovation will be going forward, but in any case, spring break would be a good time to organize & purge your offices.

Let me clarify this for you: we might not be moving at all, but we'd like you to use your vacation to get ready anyways. You know, as a favor to us.

Someone needs to learn about motivating employees. The only way I'm going to do this over break (or maybe at all) is if I have a bunch of other stuff I want to do even less.

If only...

Right now, I'm in hour 2 of my third try at rescuing my laptop. I'm writing this on my much older but apparently much better desktop while I wait for a scan to finish up. Grump.
Maybe it's because of the isolation of my job, but I think my inner voice is getting louder. Yes, that sounds insane. I mean, at least it's still inner...eventually, after enough silent hours hunched at my desk, and to the great annoyance of my inferiors more junior colleagues, it will become an outer monologue, and then I'll know I've really arrived as an academic.
Anyways, during this horrible, terrible, stupid quest to extend the life of my laptop until I have time to research what I should buy to replace it, I've spend a lot of time with my inner voice. And it's telling me I could not have chosen a less useful more different path than what I should have spent the last decade studying. I should have been learning computer science. I should have studied html for my foreign language (a real option at Mac) instead of German or Russian or Turkish.
Grump.
Update: it's two days later, and I think my laptop is clean again. Clean enough to use, at least - I'm writing this on it. Score ten points for humanities! I need all the small victories I can get.

Top 10 reasons I haven't posted lately

1. I am an academic (there, I said it), which also makes me a professional procrastinator. More on this in a later post.
   
2. The longer I wait, the greater the pressure from the three people who read this to post something mind-bogglingly funny/enlightened/inspiring/newsworthy.
3. There are a lot of other blogs out there, and sometimes it's more interesting to read them than to write on mine. Just admit it, that's why you don't have a blog.
   
4. January, the month when it's too cold to take my fingers out of my sleeves to type, and nothing worth reporting seems to be happening anyways.
5. Winter break, that special time when there are no important projects I should be doing instead of blogging. Right now, I'm avoiding a mid-size ethnographic project proposal, two grant applications, and approximately 150 pages of reading, half of which is written in Fraktur, a special gothic-style script designed expressly to cause headaches, and all of which is written in very dry, very tedious, very academic German.
   
6. Bathroom remodeling.
7. Trying to think of ways to blog about how silly certain aspects of my professional life are without getting fired/ruining any chance of future employment in my field.
   
8. The great Laptop Virus Catastrophe of 2010 (I kept thinking I'd just wait until I had it fixed to blog).
9. Toying with the idea of moving my blog to Wordpress, putting ads on my blog, making it a Real Project.
   
10. Watching seventeen iterations of this epic battle every day that I am home and should be doing productive things:

George attacks from Lindsay Lawton on Vimeo.